This semester, I am taking Old Testament II, History of Christianity II, Spirit in the World, Social Justice & the Care of Souls, and a 1 credit hour course called Intersecting Faith and Academic Journeys. The Holy Spirit has been on my heart and mind for the last few weeks as we study the Protestant Reformation, Jesuit missions across the world, and who and how folks describe and believe in the Holy Spirit.
A couple of weeks ago, the focus of Old Testament class was the book of Hosea, specifically examining Hosea from a feminist and womanist (the term "womanism" was coined by Alice Walker in 1982. A womanist is a Black feminist or feminist of color. Click here to learn about UPSEM's Center for Womanist Leadership) critique. The first time that I closely engaged with the book of Hosea was during my Women in the Biblical World class last fall; we studied Gomer, the wife of Hosea. So, the feminist critique of Hosea did not come as a surprise to me. But, the historical context and intense language of the "marriage metaphor" struck me again and again. We had a tough week of learning about Hosea; the abusive language, the violence, the voicelessness of Gomer, the assumptions about Gomer, and the intensity of the metaphor left us feeling upset and raw. There was an opportunity to write my exegesis paper on Hosea so that I could learn more. But, there was no way I was doing that. I wanted to run as far away from Hosea as I could!
So, I continued to gather notes for the exegesis I already started for Amos. I tried to put Hosea in my rearview mirror. But, I kept feeling a tug, a push, a pull. I told my friend, Kaylyn, about the feelings I was having. We concurred that it was the Holy Spirit who was pushing me. But, I had so many reasons for why I needed to ignore the Holy Spirit. Logistically, I could not shift so late in the game. Timing wise, I had already started gathering resources and writing my translation for Amos. Emotionally, it would be too difficult. The reasons kept coming! Then, Kaylyn stopped me and asked how many hours I had spent preparing for Amos (she knew it was probably less than an hour). Before I could even respond, Kaylyn said, "Caitlin, I think you should listen to that tug. I think you might be able to create something beautiful out of this if you listen to the Holy Spirit."
My brain and my body tried to ignore the Holy Spirit, but the Holy Spirit cannot be ignored. The Holy Spirit was guiding, challenging, and pushing me. As Howard Thurman puts it in his commencement speech titled The Sound of the Genuine,
"So the burden of what I have to say to you is, “What is your name— who are you—and can you find a way to hear the sound of the genuine in yourself?” There are so many noises going on inside of you, so many echoes of all sorts, so many internalizing of the rumble and the traffic, the confusions, the disorders by which your environment is peopled that I wonder if you can get still enough—not quiet enough—still enough to hear rumbling up from your unique and essential idiom the sound of the genuine in you. I don’t know if you can. But this is your assignment." Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman
Thurman describes the Genuine as being within each one of us. I have been thinking about the Genuine that is inside of me and how I think that She (the Hebrew word for "spirit," רוּחַ, is a feminine word so it is often translated with feminine pronouns) is the Holy Spirit within me. It's easy to try to ignore the Spirit, to push the Spirit aside because we don't have time for the Spirit to change our plans, and to not believe that the Spirit really is here with us --- within each of us. The last couple of weeks have shown me that the Genuine is within me and when I take time to slow down, to be still, to really listen and feel, I am able to connect with the Holy Spirit.
Kaylyn was correct. I submitted my exegesis paper this morning and writing the paper was cathartic and empowering. I hope to share my takeaways with y'all one day.
For now, I want to thank you all for following along and supporting me on this journey of discernment and seminary. Please be in touch with me if you'd like to chat, want to learn more about what I am learning, or if you would like to be added or included in my prayer list. I hope you are able to listen for the "sound of the genuine" in yourselves. Know that the Holy Spirit is always alongside you, too. Peace be with each of you.
Caitlin
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P.S.
So much of seminary is reading! And often, the readings are wonderful! Sometimes we listen to podcasts and watch videos, too. I thought it would be fun to share some of the most meaningful pieces with you all (the ones that are readily available online, anyway). Check them out below:
- Union Presbyterian Seminary @ Richmond's Chapel in honor of the start of Black History Month: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCZVtFf23jY --- the Holy Spirit was THERE! It was an incredibly beautiful service of music and prayer.
- A blog post/sermon about Gomer and her translation of Hosea from a favorite theologian and preacher of mine, Rev. Dr. Wil Gafney. She is a professor at Brite Divinity at TCU! https://www.wilgafney.com/2018/09/24/when-gomer-looks-more-like-god/
- Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman's "The Sound of the Genuine" https://www.uindy.edu/eip/files/reflection4.pdf
- This is a wonderful Youtube video/podcast about Thurman's commencement speech and the journey to understanding the Genuine within ourselves. It was a fascinating and inspiring listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGKn0ov7jEY
